How you are Self Sabotaging and 3 ways to help
Tell me does this scenario I am about to share with you sound familiar? You have a big event coming up and you want to feel and look good for it. You decide you want to lose a little bit a weight so you can feel comfortable in your outfit. You have given yourself 8 weeks, plenty of time. You realise what you need to do in order to achieve this but there is a nagging thought that it is too hard, you have tried this before, you probably won’t achieve it, so what’s the point. 4 weeks in, you realise you still haven’t taken any action. You decide to take action in the next 4 weeks but that nagging thought is still there so you don’t really put much effort in to it. It gets to the day of the event and your outfit feels tight and you tell yourself “I knew it”.
Or you say ‘I am going to attend 4 yoga classes this week’ or ‘do 4 walks this week’ or ‘read my book 4 nights this week’ and you know it is very much doable with the right action but you have that voice that keeps saying ‘I don’t have time for all of this’ ‘I always say I will do it and never do’. Then you make excuses and affirm this story to yourself once again.
So what is self sabotage and why do we do it? Self-sabotage is the result of faulty conditioning of your subconscious mind. This programming creates self-sabotaging thoughts that brings on self sabotaging beliefs and behaviours. Most people self sabotage because deep down the don’t believe they can achieve something so instead of failing they don’t try at all.
Self sabotage can come in many forms and lot of the time people don’t even know they are doing it. They say things like ‘Its just the way it is’, ‘I have always been like that’, ‘I will never be able to achieve that by then’. This is the language used my someone who is self sabotaging. These are STORIES made up in your head and have been anchored so deep into your sub conscious that you are now believing them to be true. They are not true they are only beliefs you have picked up from past experiences or the perception of your environment eg, parents, friends, colleagues, society.
So here are a few examples of self sabotage;
Procrastination
Overthinking
Avoiding
Perfectionism
Defensiveness
Indecisiveness
In action
Making yourself busy
Choosing a lifestyle that will depletes your energy and creativity
Disorganisation
Now don’t worry, majority of people self sabotage, including myself but it’s never really intentional however to re wire this programming we need to get intentional.
So here are 3 ways to help with Self Sabotage:
1. Write down all the ways that you may be self sabotaging and have it in plain site so you can be aware of them on a daily basis. Remember these stories are now a habit. They are so ingrained that you will not always notice yourself doing them so if you can be aware and consciously change the way you are thinking then you can start to re program those self limiting beliefs.
2. Make a plan. Write down step by step the actions you are going to take in order to achieve your goal. When you can break it down into small, bite sized, digestible chunks you are more likely to stay motivated and not find ways to self sabotage. When you achieve each step, celebrate yourself. Trust me it works. Why do we give so much recognition to others and not ourselves. Celebrate You.
3. Find an accountability partner who you know has your back and will keep you on track. Tell them your goal, what you want to achieve and when you want to achieve it by. Ask them to support you on whatever it is and if you fall off ask them to help you get back on. Being accountable to someone can be a very powerful tool to stay motivated. Make sure you have someone who is going to kick your ass if needed and won’t just accept your excuses.
Self sabotage needs to be treated from a deeper routed place. If you have weeds growing in your garden you don’t trim the leaves you rip it from the root to ensure it doesn’t grow back. It’s time to rip out our mental weeds and replace them with stories that will give us courage, belief, joy, inspiration, motivation and so much more.
I love helping people do this so if you want to know more or have any questions please reach out and I can share other very powerful tools to help you to get rid of those blocks and old stories.
Sending you so much love
Jen
Xxx