Let me ask you something……what inspires you? Is there anything or anyone who makes you do better? Maybe it’s a parent, maybe it’s a friend or maybe a partner? Maybe its a place or a picture of somewhere?
This is what this mini blog series is all about. Inspiration. People and places that inspire me and could potentially inspire you.
I have asked one of my best friends to write a little bit about her journey. Why? Well because this girl has overcome very many obstacles to be where she is now. Beki has gone from 20 stone and unhappy to 11 stone and full of life. Beki had years of people putting her down and on a daily basis putting herself down. She decided one day, in one moment after many years of self doubt that it was going to change. After daily, consistent effort she was able to make her dreams a reality. She is now the happiest she has ever been physically, mentally and emotionally. Beki inspires many people but she has now got to a point where she inspires herself. She doesn’t compare herself to anyone, she is in competition with herself. Beki is happier, more confident and bloody great to be around. It all started with a lot of self doubt until one day Beki DECIDED it was going to change. She focused on the journey as well as the goal and celebrated every little milestone until one day she looked back and couldn’t even believe herself, what it is she has managed to achieve. So here it is, her story written by beki to give you all the details of her journey and help inspire you as she has done for many.
When Jen asked me to write a lil bit about myself, where I’v been, where I am today and my transformation over the years... I wasn’t entirely surely where to start. So I figured the beginning would be the simplest? Haha.
Growing up, for as long as I can remember I was the big one in my group of friends and my family. I couldn’t escape it. I’m one of 4 and my siblings where all blessed with size 8, rock hard abs and I just didn’t fit. I felt like the black sheep. When I say I went to bed EVERY NIGHT saying tomorrow is the day I change- I wouldn’t be lying. I was absolutely miserable, felt so alone and to be honest the absolute let down of the family. I felt like I was constantly waiting for the next cruel kid to call me a name, or the next situation I was in where I just wanted the world to eat me up and I could disappear. It was a constant heavy heavy black cloud on my heart, my head and my body. Things got pretty bad mentally to be honest. I never spoke about my feelings, ever. My loved ones encouraged me but for some reason I just couldn’t stop binging. I’d hide biscuits and cakes and justify it by going down to my local tennis club and playing 5 minutes before heading to Greggs for more donuts (I liked donuts🙃) it was such a vicious cycle in that I felt completely out of my depth, helpless and just generally stuck (more super glue’d). I remember the feeling even now and it was bloody awful!
Anyway I can’t pin point the moment the penny dropped, I think I realised at age 18 and 20stone (no jokes) that I was waisting my best years sitting in a constant state of worry, self evaluation and insecurities. I started exercising, eating better and actually trusting the process of healthy weight loss (I had to trust there was no other option - I couldn’t have lived any longer the way I was or how I felt. I used visions of girls I looked up to and visions of how I could (to be honest never actually believing I could) but I used the excitement and hoped for the best. I made a conscious decision to make a decision. To decide that I was going to get better. Just better. Everyday. Because I had never even been any normal size I didn’t know what my dream goal was (and to be honest I still don’t) but it’s the decision to be better. To try my hardest EVERY SINGLE DAY. Now/;.plk, weight loss or transformations are not a linear straight line. We all have our ups n downs. It’s not how many times you fall off the band wagon, it’s how many times you’ll climb straight back on. Sometimes it’s been days/ weeks/ months of no gym and eating nonsense. And that’s ok! But it’s the vision, the original excitement that I could actually be one of these girls I looked up to. You know the cool girl, that wears anything and looks great, cool Jewellery, always nice hair, nails done etc. I wanted to be her. And the thought of me being her kept bringing me back to this mission.
Now if you know Jen or I, you’ll know we have been best friends for 10 years so she’s been there the whole time through this journey. In fact funny fact when I met Jen (and to this day) I look up to her. She was one of those girls I wanted to be. I was in awe of her and still am. To say she has single handedly helped me more than anyone else in my life is a genuine fact. Not just with losing weight, but spiritually, emotionally and everything in between. She is my rock, my therapist, my fave yoga teacher and my absolute soul sister. I do like to think we help each other and we balance each other 100000% cause you know that’s what best friends do and I know we are both forever grateful for each other 🥰🙋🏼♀️🙋🏽♀️😎
Along with my friendship with Jen Heb Hubababa (my nickname for her), I think the most important part of my ‘transformation’ is my continued work on my mind frame, my self worth, my self respect and my self value. Because even with the most desired body type if you ain’t happy with yourself: mind, body and soul you ain’t going to find happiness. Happiness comes from within. It’s how you feel about yourself. So my advice is don’t just change your body, change your mind. Change your self awareness. Don’t be the ‘that’s just me’ mentality. Research growth mindset. Read/ learn/ listen because you can be whoever you want to be. You can do anything you want to do. It’s that simple. It just takes time, patience and consistency.
When I was 20 stone I wanted to be anyone else but me. That was a genuine thought ALWAYS consuming my brain.
Now fast forward 10 years, a lot of bloody sweat, tears, graft and nearly 9 stone lighter I can absolutely say I DONT WANNA BE ANYONE ELSE 🎶 I LOVE ME. I love who I am, what I look like (lumps and bumps included) what I stand for, and what I give to people in my life! I know what I want and what I deserve and I will not settle for anything less. It’s not an arrogant thing. It’s a confidence thing. I can walk into a room and not feel the need to compare myself to anyone else (we all get moments of comparison - we are human and that’s ok) but the majority of the time I don’t care other people’s opinions- as long as I am confident in my skin then who cares.
I am 100% grateful for the whole journey, the lowest points of my life have only pushed me to be who I am today and for that I have to be eternally grateful for it.
I am me, and me is more than enough💪🏼
So for anyone who needs/Wants a change for anything in their life. Just take the first step. Action over excuses. Vision over doubt. And keep chiselling away. Dream big. Give lots. Laugh through the hard times and take in the good! Oh and get a friend like Jen. 💗
The transformation is so bloody worth it 😉